Lies - You're Worthless

This is a foundational lie the enemy tries to establish very early in life. This is a direct attack on your identity. You may have been bullied as a child because you were too skinny, too fat, or had a certain way about you. Most people internalize the actions of others as a direct attack on their identity or worth. The sad part is, most of these offenders are operating out of brokeness which Satan uses for maximum destruction and to lay traps he will trigger later in life.

A young couple gets married. Brenda comes from a traditional nuclear family; mother, father, and a brother. She had a relatively stable upbringing with somewhat open communication with her family. It wasn’t perfect but Brenda understood her parents did the best they could with the tools they had acquired. Brenda’s husband is James. His parents were divorced when he was 14. He knew his parents loved him but he always struggled with his role in their divorce. James struggled with feelings that this divorce somehow had something to do with him. The enemy subconsciously is planting seeds that if he hadn’t been in the picture, his parents would have been better off. James begins to take conflict as a personal attack on himself and his worth.

One day, both Brenda and James had a particularly hard day. For Brenda, her boss was unusually cold and unresponsive to her. There was a new hire that seemed to be gunning for her position. On her way to pick up the kids, she received a call that their son Kyle had an altercation with another student. 

James had to deal with an unruly client on a relatively large contract that accounts for a substantial portion of this year's revenue. The issue was no fault of James or his company but the client would not listen to reason. James is definitely on edge as this may be a make or break moment in his career. Unbeknownst to James, the trap has been set from his unresolved issues from his childhood. 

James arrives home and Brenda begins to unload the issues with Kyle and his classmate, her boss and the obnoxious upstart, and just seems to be unhappy in general. Brenda is more accustomed to voicing her frustrations in a relatively safe and open environment. She feels as though she is simply expressing her feelings, which she believes is the right and safe thing to do.

James, however, because of his background, takes it all personally and begins to internalize these feelings. James, shouts at his wife for being in his face about the situation and begins to think that it's his fault that the family is starting to fall apart.  The enemy wants to use this situation to reinforce the lies that started many years ago.

Like myself, I’m sure many of us can relate to either or both Brenda and James. There are a few truths we need to realize when it comes to determining our worth.

1. Worth is not determined by status, situations, or circumstances, but by our Creator.
2. Our default lens of life is determined by the sum of our life experiences, not the truth of the word of God
3. Brokenness will always skew the truth and create a distorted or flat out wrong image of ourselves.
4. Worth is not something earned or obtained, but is endowed by God.

As we begin to grow in Christ we need to pray Psalms 139:23-24

‭‭Psalms 139:23-24 NIV‬‬

[23] Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. [24] See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

As covered in the devotional "Was Blind But Now…?" we need to become aware that we may have blinders to some of the issues we have or face. We need to seek God and others who are trained or are mature enough to help walk us through the issues that hinder us from becoming the person and spouse God has called us to be.