In The Trenches

Today, men are in a fight for our identities.

The world is telling us that masculinity is toxic and that we need to be more…less masculine? It really begs the question, “if we can’t be what we were created to be, then what exactly are we to do?” Well, let’s step back and see what God’s word has to say about our role as the head of our household.

Ephesians 5:25-29, states, 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 

We see in these passages, husbands are called to be a direct representation of the love Christ has for His church. We are to take ownership of our wives and families. But not ownership from a worldly perspective, but from that of Jesus Christ. The Bible is very clear on how this should look. Hence, the title, In the Trenches.

Let’s look at these passages more in-depth. Vs. 25-26 says, Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word… We play a large role in the sanctification of our wives and families. However, there is an assumption the Bible makes. It assumes we are already in a position to lead and love this way. Leviticus 11:44a - I am the Lord your God; consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am holy.

Men, we are in the trenches.

The enemy knows that if he can keep us struggling with selfishness, complacency, apathy, immorality, etc, we CANNOT be effective.

We cannot properly love and lead our families. Time to push back. (Cue the theme song from Rocky, Eye of the Tiger) We need to make sure we are setting ourselves apart from the world. This means, adhering to the roles that define us as a protector. It means dying to self and loving our wives as Christ loves us. It means when they ask us to take the trash out and it's the fourth quarter in the last game of the finals, we, with love and grace say “babe, I will most definitely do it… in about 20 minutes” and actually do it. It means when she decides, as you are walking out the door, to have a deep philosophical conversation about why her brother hasn’t called her for a while, you lovingly listen and then at an opportune moment, let her know that you must go, but will call her as soon as you get to the car. It’s seeking God to know His heart in all matters. Even those individuals that otherwise frustrate us to no end. It’s spending time in God’s word. Getting it deep into our hearts so that we respond in love and kindness towards the things that would normally cause us to lash out at our spouses. It’s fighting it out with our own selfish desires and replacing them with the desires of God.

This is the gym. This is the training grounds. This is dying to self and picking up your cross daily.

The fact of the matter is, we are called to a higher standard. With that, the way we love our spouses, should “...make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.” The next part of this scripture is absolutely critical to cultivating a wife that will be the help-meet that God has called her to be. Vs. 27 “and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Brothers, please grasp the brevity of what God is expressing. We are to present ourselves and familes to God holy and blameless. We are in a spiritual battle for our homes. Our families are the physical prize. We need to be in the trenches, fighting to keep ourselves spiritually fit and consecrating our families by loving them the way Christ loves the church.

Brothers, I challenge you to dig deep and go all in for yourself, for your family, and for your savior!

‍